Mean Girls at Work: We Lived It, We Moved On

As I was writing about burnout, I realized… I also want to talk about the toxic people I’ve met at work.

Funny how, as I type this, I’ve mostly moved on from it. Time really does heal (well, sometimes the memories creep back in and trigger you—but whatever, right?).

Is there any law against people invading your private space? Especially when it comes to personal conversations?
Just because the company provides the laptop doesn’t mean you get to read through someone’s private chats. Girl, that’s not ownership—that’s invasion.

This happened to me around 2–3 years ago, and honestly, the trauma still lingers.
Even today, I get nervous sharing things through messages. Every time we talk about what happened, there’s this automatic urge to delete the conversation—even if it has nothing to do with those people. Traumatized much? Yup.
And yes, Taylor Swift’s “Look What You Made Me Do” kept playing in my head back then. HEHE.

Let me be clear—I never claimed to be the victim, and I never tried to frame anyone else as the villain. But being blamed for things I didn’t do? That’s not it.
Early on a Saturday morning, when we’d just woken up, our phones were suddenly blowing up.
They wanted us to confront the situation—but not to ask why or how it even started. They were just eager to reveal, not to understand.

What a chaotic day, now that I look back.

It felt so unfair. These people were always lucky, always slipping past the consequences. But when something went wrong, we were the ones ambushed and branded as the "mean girls."
They backed each other up, covered for each other’s mistakes, and made us own it.
They never cared about the real reason behind it all. They only read what they wanted to see—and left out the part that triggered our reactions in the first place.

And so we lost.
New people came in, already holding grudges against us—even though we never mentioned anyone’s name. Suddenly, we were on their list too.

Eventually, we lived with it.
We went to the office like nothing happened.
To them, we were the mean girls.
To us, they didn’t exist.

The team silently split into two groups. Some who couldn’t take the tension resigned.
Some who did resign… eventually came back. (That part’s still hilarious to me!)

Years passed. People moved on.
Some of the newer people who once judged us now smile at our jokes.
They talk to us casually.
But deep down, I can still feel the fakeness when everyone gathers.
Whatever. I’ve moved on and I’m living my life.

Sometimes I wonder—what if, on that day, they had just agreed to sit down and talk it through?
What if they had actually asked why we talked about them instead of jumping straight to conclusions?

They read the bad part of the conversation, but skipped the part that led up to it.
They ignored the context. They ignored the facts.

Eventually, the truth peeked through.
The same people who were once seen as "untouchable"—with management constantly backing them—were finally seen for who they were.
Even our boss started calling out their toxic behavior.
The one who triggered it all was finally confronted. Sure, her little "fairy circle" still defended her, but at least someone acknowledged the reality.

You know what’s sad? Some people still choose to stay friends with someone they know is toxic—just because that person is sweet to them.
What kind of friendship is that? Friends with benefits? Or just selective blindness?

Maybe she’s kind to them but awful to others—does that cancel out her behavior?
Maybe. Maybe not. It’s not my place to judge.

I’m just trying to process it all and grow from the experience.
I’m not perfect. I probably made mistakes too—some I may not even realize.

But this whole thing taught me a lot.
Especially when it comes to protecting my personal space.
Now, I always log out of social media on work devices.
I don’t talk about personal matters in team chats.
And I’ve learned to slow down before speaking about others.

Sure, there are days I get so pissed off I want to scream.
But I hold it in.
Take a breath.
Ignore them.
Focus on my work.

When it’s work-related, I show up and stay professional.
When it’s personal?
No thanks. Queen's got better things to do.

Can you still be friends with toxic people?

xoxo_M.